I wish I could write that well.

Recently I made a post about violence in Waterloo, since that time there have been a few more instances of violence. There was also an altercation with a Harvard professor who is a very influential black man. It has been all over the news so I am sure you have heard of it. When reading one particular article on Slate which can be found at http://www.slate.com/id/2223472/, the author, Richard Thomas Ford concluded:

I don't know whether Crowley arrested Gates because he was angry that an uppity black man dared to question him or whether this was just a tense misunderstanding that escalated out of control. What's clear is that neither the overused notion of racial profiling nor the trope of a black malcontent playing the race card gives us any real purchase on this controversy. Gates has said he hopes to use the incident as a teaching moment. But if we are really to learn anything from it, we'll have to look deeper. We need to ask why so many police officers of all races suspect the worst of racial minorities. (I wonder what the black Cambridge police officer pictured in the photo along with Gates after his arrest would say about all of this if he could speak candidly.) Decades of blatant and pervasive racial discrimination, poor urban planning, and failed labor policy have left blacks disproportionately jobless and trapped in poor ghettos across the United States. Faced with few opportunities and few positive role models, a disturbing number of people in those neighborhoods turn to gangs and crime for money, protection, and esteem.

Rather than improve those neighborhoods and help the people who live in them join the prosperous mainstream, we as a society have given police the dirty job of quarantining them. Frankly, we should expect that a disproportionate number of power-hungry bigots would find such a mandate attractive. And an otherwise decent and fair-minded officer, faced with the day-to-day task of controlling society's most isolated, desperate, and angry population, might develop some ugly racial generalizations and carry them even to plush and leafy neighborhoods such as those surrounding Harvard Yard. Yet when the inevitable racial scandal surfaces we, like Capt. Renault in Casablanca, are shocked,shocked to find racial bias in law enforcement and quick to blame individual police officers, rather than ourselves.

The baseless arrest of one of the nation's most esteemed scholars is wrong and unfortunate, whether racism or simple abuse of authority is to blame. Professor Gates was publicly humiliated and spent several hours confined in a jail cell for, at most, asserting himself against a mistaken policeman. He deserves the apology he has asked for and apparently won't receive. But the larger problem of racial disparity in law enforcement is not caused by individual misconduct, and it will not be solved by apologies extracted under pressure or the threat of litigation. It's a symptom of the way we have chosen to deal with poverty and racial isolation in this very wealthy and supposedly egalitarian society. And it makes all police scapegoats for the failed and callous social policies that we have all chosen or acquiesced to.

I wish I could write that well. In three short paragraphs Mr. Ford articulated something I believe to be true better than I ever have, and I have tried articulating it often.

There is much to talk about with what he said so succinctly. I want to focus on one word: esteem.

What do you do for esteem? Where do you find your worth? Where one feels valued speaks volumes to one's identity, morals, and motivations. Whether one find esteem at church, being a husband, being a parent, being a hard worker, wielding authoritative power, being in a gang, dealing drugs, or positively influencing others through friendship, the motivation is the same; to find belonging and respect.

Today a friend mentioned something thoughtful about a co-worker. My friend said that a person he knows finds his respect and self worth at work. My friend said something along the lines that this person doesn't get much respect at home and he has power at work, so people laugh at his jokes and listen to what he says. Sometimes this person is very insensitive and can degrade others seemingly to help his esteem. I believe this life would lead to a sad existence.

But, I treat a blog like a journal trying to gain esteem and acceptance. If proof is in the pudding, I haven't gained much esteem and even less acceptance from the blog. In about two weeks time this blog has gotten 131 views, many of which are me checking to see if somebody has left comments. Many other views are from my Mom (thanks Mom). I have also acquired one follower, my wife, and to my knowledge, one link, again from my wife (thanks Hun). That might mean I am just boring, or maybe that means I am the one leading the sad existence. I don't know what the real answer is, but I know the latter is at least true some of the time. To often though I seek esteem from the wrong places. I seek esteem in the car I drive, the house I live in, my job title, my knowledge, and the hurdles I have overcome.

In actuality, I believe one would have a healthy esteem if they focused first and foremost on their relationship with God, then their relationship with their spouse, then their relationship with their family, and then their relationship with friends. Do you notice the trend? A well balanced life with healthy esteem comes from relationships, not things. With that being said, if you don't have the money to provide for your family, you are probably struggling to find esteem. That leads people to seek esteem in places they probably shouldn't, like a gang, the workplace, or a blog.

I am blessed because I have a relationship with God; I have a great relationship with my wife and my family; and I have some very good hearted friends, all of which help me keep my esteem. I don't know what I would do without those relationships, but my guess is a gang wouldn't sound too bad. I spend a lot of time thinking about how people with little material wealth don't get a fair shot in life, but I should be as equally moved for the person who finds their wealth almost entirely at work. Truthfully, there are days I feel sad for the person who finds their worth in a blog or in knowledge. When I start feeling sad for that person, I know I just need to focus on my relationship with God, my relationship with my wife, and my relationship with my good hearted friends, and then I will find the esteem I seek.